Weekend Writing Warriors

wewriwa_square_4Weekend Writing Warriors is a writing blog hop where writers share eight sentences from their WIP each week, hosted here. Make sure to stop by their website if you’d like to join us. And check out the other great writers who’re showing their work as well!

 

Excerpt from Vermillion Bird of the South:

*This first story is about Makaya who leaves her ‘home’ after soldiers attack and kill her twin brother. This scene happens before she leaves, at the dining table between Ember, her friend, Mill (her caretaker and the father of Ember) and Zak, Mill’s business partner…

 

~~~

“Ember.” Mill held his empty glass above his head, waiting for her to refill it.

Ember jumped out of her seat and ran into the kitchen with a “yes Sir.” When she returned, she immediately began pouring the liquid, some kind of expensive wine, into his glass. “Is that all, father?”

Mill stiffened, “What did you call me?”

Ember hesitated. “Father, Sir.”

A loud burst of laughter came from Zak. “Poor ‘daddy’. What are you going to do with her now?”

~~~

What do you all think?

 

 

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11 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors

  1. Pingback: Weekend Writing Warriors #2 | Love2…

  2. It’s hard to come in on the middle of a story….I was a bit confused, I think because I was expecting to read about Makaya and she wasn’t actually in the excerpt? And I’m with Millie, intriguing why the father doesn’t care to be addressed that way. So I would keep reading!

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    • Sorry for the confusion. Would it have been better if I started at the beginning? I wasn’t sure of which part to pull the excerpt from..
      And thank you for reading! I’m glad it intrigued you.

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  3. Hi Bronte, Millie here, a moderator from WeWriWa. First as a reader, you’ve done a good job at making me wonder why Mill got upset when his daughter called him father…apparently he only likes Sir? I’ll be looking forward to learning more about these characters : ) As a moderator, I need to remind you to try to keep it to eight sentences. You may use creative punctuation to make it happen if you need to finish out a thought : ) In the post above, a few comma’s in place of a couple periods and you’re right as rain!

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