Weekend Writing Warriors is a writing blog hop where writers share eight sentences from their WIP each week, hosted here. Make sure to stop by their website if you’d like to join us. And check out the other great writers who’re showing their work as well!
Excerpt from Vermillion Bird of the South:
*This is a continuation of the one from last week, so if you want to read that one, click here*
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Rage filled Mill’s expression. “Don’t… don’t…” He threw the glass across the room, and it shattered against the wall, splattering it with rum. He sputtered a bit, but had nothing to say, so with a huff, he shoveled the rest of the food in his mouth.
The rest of the meal went pretty much like that, and until Zak and Mill left, allowing us to finally eat. I tried to ignore the constant feeling of Zak’s eyes on me. Watching me. The minute they were both out of sight, Ember filled a plate with leftovers and handed it over to me.
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I think this part is pretty ‘meh’ right now, but I wanted to give all you a chance to read this ( though it’s still heavily in the WIP/early draft stages. )
Let me know what you think~
Wow, drama! Who could eat with all that going on LOL…excellent excerpt full of emotion.
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Thank you! ^^
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A lot of me’s here. I do like the way you express anger. Good eight.
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Thank you~ This is an earlier draft so I’m not focusing on word choice as much. But I’ll defintiely keep an eye on the “me”. Those and “I” tend to get a bit out of control at times.
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Sound like the peace of the meal is being hijacked.
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lol definitely
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Really liked the descriptive scene from the beginning. Great snippet!
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Thank you~
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I like it! I can very clearly see the dynamic, and the emotion here. Great 8 🙂
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Thanks!
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